Buying concert tickets for a washed-up child star is challenging and I don’t want you to think otherwise.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to do it.
Step one: Fall in love with Aaron Carter when you’re 11 years old
Watch and then re-watch the Lizzie McGuire Christmas episode featuring AC and wonder why you aren’t Hilary Duff. Also, begin planning for family Christmases with Aaron and his brother, Nick Carter, and Nick’s girlfriend Paris Hilton.
Step two: Forget about him
Move on to Justin Timberlake, Jesse McCartney, Harry Styles, Jimmy Fallon, the boy who sat in front of you in class…
Step three: Watch House of Carters and wonder where it all went wrong
Step four: Obtain a degree from a university and still have the brain cells of an 11-year-old who wants to go to an Aaron Carter concert
Kent Hance would be proud. #DreamNoLittleDreams
|photo by brad tollefson|
Step five: Convince your friends to attend the concert with you
They will moan and groan, but you will prevail because you are a magician who can convince your friends to do anything in the name of a good time and a possibly-entertaining blog post.
Step six: Remind your friends every day that we need to buy the tickets
They will become annoyed with you, but you know only the squeaky wheel gets fixed.
Step seven: Decide on a time and date when you’re going to buy the tickets
Mark it in your calendar because you mean business.
Step eight: Bribe your friend that you will buy her ticket for her birthday
Step nine: Log into the House of Blues website
Step 10: Select two tickets and enter your information in the less than 5-minute limit
Your heart will be racing because of the countdown in the bottom righthand corner telling you your time is almost up.
Step 11: Sweat a lot
Step 12: Have the site tell you something is wrong
The website won’t tell you which piece of information is wrong. It will just tell you something is wrong.
Step 13: Try again
Step 14: Try again
Step 15: Tweet Live Nation
Step 16: Try one more time
Begin to question life, love, liberty, the pursuit of Aaron Carter tickets.
Step 17: Log onto StubHub to buy tickets through them
Realize StubHub is selling Aaron Carter tickets for twice as much because there’s nothing like idiotic white girls who would buy surged AC tickets.
Step 18: Text your friends
Step 19: Cuss a lot
Step 20: Consider stealing your parents’s credit card
They’ll never notice a random charge of $40 on their bill, you think to yourself, wiping away the tears.
Step 21: Call House of Blues
“Yes, hello. I need two tickets to the Aaron Carter concert. Yes, I realize my life is sad.”
Step 22: Talk to an automated voice for 15 minutes
The robot woman is having a hard time understanding your Texan accent, but you stick through it.
Step 23: Confirm your ticket purchase
Praise God because you confirmed your ticket purchase. There is literally no stopping you now.
Step 24: Tweet Aaron Carter because you’re excited you’re seeing him in concert on his birthday
You are on top of the world. You want everyone to know what you just went through. You want Aaron to personally know that you’re spending his birthday with him. You want him to know that 13 years later, you still remember his birthday because you’re that big of a fangirl.
Step 25: Have Aaron Carter personally tweet you and your friend not to come to his concert.