Listen, here. LISTEN, I SAY. I don’t mess around when it comes to Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is my sport. I’ve been to every tour of hers and I don’t see why that’s a problem. During this tour, every night I would crawl into bed and constantly refresh Twitter to see the live tweets from people at her show that night. I examine the outfits, the setlist, her special guests, and everything in between.
I also follow plenty of fans on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr, so I know that the key to getting backstage and winning a meet-and-greet with Tay is to dress up in something unique and memorable.
help. i don’t need a life or a boyfriend.
So before I had even purchased my actual concert tickets, I began planning because I’m a planner and by that I mean I’m the actual worst.
3 weeks before the concert
Kassidy and I had BIG plans to go all out for the concert. We will dress up and Taylor’s mom will see us and invite us backstage and Taylor will think we are really funny and clever and name her next cats after us, we said to ourselves and to each other.
Ideas we had:
Let’s dress up like Harry Styles!
Let’s dress up like Jake Gyllenhaal!
Let’s dress up like Harry Styles and hold a Taylor Swift doll in the palm of our hand because of that lyric “had me in the palm of your hand!”
Let’s draw stitches on our forehead because of “20 stitches in the hospital room!”
Let’s wear a tight little skirt and carry a Bible because of that “good girl faith and a tight little skirt!”
Let’s wear wine-stained dresses!
Let’s wear a scarlet letter because of that lyric “we show off our different scarlet letters, trust me mine is better!”
5 days before the concert
Ok, all of that sounds exhausting, we thought. So we decided we were going to dress up as different characters from her Shake It Off music video. Kassidy was going to be the ballerina, Kara would be the beatboxer, and I would be the twerker. Fine, it was settled.
3 days before the concert
Turns out, that was way too complicated and we have jobs and TV shows to watch and other things and anyway, we would have to borrow things from people and nobody wants that. So we decided to just go to Nordstrom’s and buy cute dresses and to be People and carry posterboards that say “You stay out too late,” “You’ve got nothing in your brain,” and “You go on too many dates.” Haha, get it?!?!?!?!?! Are you laughing yet??????
8 hours before the concert
Scratch the posterboards because, like, we are the opposite of crafty and no one wants to spend their Saturday afternoon pretending to be kindergarten teachers. We will just go to Target and buy some wireless Christmas lights and wear them and call it a day, we said to one another over brunch.
6 hours before the concert and $220 spent on shoes later
No one literally has money for Christmas lights.
3 hours before the concert
I’m in my dress I bought specifically for the concert and I’m about to start doing my makeup and by doing my makeup, I mean I was going to sit on my butt and have Kassidy do my makeup like the slave she is. I had texted my outfit to at least three straight men who all agreed that it was a good choice. Do I dress for men or for women or for myself or for Taylor or for all of the above? WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN…
2 hours before the concert
Enter Layne, a gay man who enjoys dressing women and telling them their dress is ugly and doesn’t work with your thigh-high boots. So he goes through my closet and makes me try on 14 different skirt and top combos with the thigh-high boots.
So I settled on an actual plaid skirt, thigh-high boots, and kitty cat ears because apparently I’m Ariana Grande. Help me. Help us all.