The Finest Hours is the one I saw last night with my father. I knew I wasn’t going to understand the plot or the storyline, but I did know Chris Pine was going to be wet the majority of the time, so like.
Background: I’m not sure the exact moment or movie when I fell in love with Chris, but when you really think about it, when you really get down to the root of it, he shouldn’t be my type because he’s kind of manly????? And I like feminine men????? But I’m into him because like.
|honest to actual god.|
The movie begins with Chris Pine, who plays Bernie, and his friend, both in the Coast Guard, I guess, and they are about to meet two girls for a date. This all takes place in the 40s or 50s, I’m not sure, what are decades, I only care about mine. Bernie is nervous because even though they’ve been talking on the phone for four weeks, he doesn’t know if she will like him. Tinder dates are hard. Anyway, they go in the diner and meet the girls, and blah blah blah love.
Then we learn Miriam, Bernie’s girl, is scared of the water at night, which is funny because now she’s dating a guy in the Coast Guard. It would be like if I dated an elevator operator. Lol it’s funny dating and facing your fears is funny. I’m laughing. Haha ha ha he he hahahah.
So then we leave Bernie and Miriam and all of a sudden Casey Affleck is on my screen and honestly, I’m not mad. Like, I’m a little mad Chris Pine isn’t on my screen, but if I have to deal with an Afflect brother, then Casey over Ben, amiright.
And then honestly I’m not sure what happened the rest of the movie. I was seeing this is 3D IMAX because I wanted Chris Pine to literally reach out and touch me, but like 3D IMAX gives you a headache and also I had to go pee during one part of it and there was a lot of action in this movie and not quite enough Chris Pine without a shirt on.
|this was the entire movie honest to god.|
No one said I was mentally sharp. Oh wait.
I’m so mentally sharp I don’t understand a Disney movie. It’s fine.
BACK TO CHRIS PINE’S BODY: Chris Pine kept his shirt on the entire time, so I’m not demanding a refund, but I’m not not demanding a refund, you know.
All I know is Bernie had to go rescue Casey Affleck and a bunch of other guys, but did he die??? Did anyone die???? Did Miriam face her fears??? Did Miriam and Bernie get married??? You’ll have to go see it to find out, or honestly, it’s based on a true story, so Wikipedia that shit.