There I was. In Adairs on a Thursday night celebrating the good Lord’s Good Friday. I was drinking a Corona and minding my own business.
Minding my own business as in, talking to anyone who would talk back. I found a couple on one of their first dates and being the good Samaritan that I am, I sat myself down and blah blah blah, what do you know. I started talking about a male.
The guy was giving me typical guy advice. Don’t respond. He’s not good enough for you. He’s not even that cool.
And the girl was giving me typical girl advice. She needed to know everything. The entire backstory. Who is he. Who is he spiritually. Where did he come from. What are his hopes and dreams. How tall is he. How tall is he barefoot.
I give her all the answers. I ask her what to Snapchat back to him. She thinks about it. She prays about it. She meditates on it.
And then she says to me.
“Have you ever seen, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You?'”
I think the world stopped. I think music stopped playing. I think everyone in Deep Ellum could feel my stare.
Have I ever seen He’s Just Not That Into You? Well. I’m a white girl, aren’t I? You have eyes. I’ve been Gennifer Goodwin’s character and showed up to a guy’s party and took over as host because I thought I was his date. Except not at all because I would never host a party, but I’m sure I’ve done equally-as-embarrassing things because of a guy. Have I ever seen He’s Just Not That Into You? I wrote the book. It’s what I say to myself every morning. I wrote the blog on it. It’s called Just PMSing. As I was talking to her, I had Orajel all over my tongue because of a canker sore. You don’t think that him not being into me hadn’t crossed my mind????
Those words. He’s just not that into you. Those are words you save for a best girlfriend. And you save them when all other options have run dry. Maybe he lost your number. Maybe he has another girlfriend. Maybe he got cancer and died. Maybe he’s intimidated by you. Maybe he doesn’t feel good enough for you. Maybe he moved across the world and texting rates are too high. Maybe his job doesn’t pay well enough to afford nice dates. Maybe you look too much like his sister and that’s freaking him out.
But he’s just not that into you???????????????
These are the last words you say to a drunk white girl stranger in Deep Ellum, Texas. The last words.
So then my friends and I left. Completely offended at this girl trying to tell me the truth. The audacity.
I was home. Trying to forget about the night. Trying to forget about the pain I had been through.
And when everything was silent, my roommate quietly whispers, “Hey.”
“Have you ever seen ‘He’s Just Not That Into You?'”