It’s Hard Being As Chic As Me

I’m not kidding when I say shopping for fall stresses me out.

What is in style this season, what is Gigi Hadid wearing, how do I find the cheap version of what I really want, do I ask for it for my birthday, or for Christmas, do I still get birthday gifts, when does it end.

i would wear it you think i’m kidding

The problem with being me, a v fashionable human being, is I always get the fashionable thing one season too early.

I remember one pre-fall I looked everywhere, EVERYWHERE, for Oxfords. There was one option so I bought that option and then one year later, they were everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

And then last year my v fashionable friend Chantal was wearing a choker, so I bought a choker and everyone made fun of me, including my friend Mack, and now chokers are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. My parents called me to tell me Fox News announced yesterday that chokers were in.

47 weeks ago.


Same thing is happening with thigh-high boots. I bought two pairs last winter and now I’m like are these even in style anymore, should I get new ones, why did Steve Madden improve theirs, should I call 911.

should i upgrade.

I bought Steve Madden’s Gorgeous boots last year (see above) and they were fine, i was pleased. But then I bought my roommate Steve Madden’s Emotions boots this year and wow SM improved. Like, I’m mad. The Gorgeous boots slouched too much and they had a tie in the back and now the Emotions boots are freaking Stuart Weitzman knockoffs. Like they are so much better and now I’m faced with, Do I buy the same boots I just gifted my roommate, or is that tacky.

I honestly don’t know how I do it each day.

And then there’s velvet. Velvet is the fabric of this season and if you disagree, I will talk to you next year when you’re wearing it. Here’s the thing. I know I don’t need thigh-high velvet boots, so but like do we need anything. I went through this whole velvet-obsession within a span of 12 hours, tweeting, researching, shopping online, when finally one trendy bitch I follow on Twitter but don’t actually know (I met her one time), tweeted me back about Zara’s velvet collection.

a saint.

And then I found these.


And then I literally cried because they were so beautiful.

Then I texted everyone in my phone if I should get them. They all said too much, and where would you wear them, and i hate you.

But I listened to none of them except my father and went to buy them.

And then when I checked out, they were already out of stock.

The universe is against me. pls pray.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s