I Could Write A Thesis on Taylor Swift, But I’m Never Going Back To School, So This Blog Will Have To Do

Everyone has been approaching me. “PMS, what do you think about this and that regarding Taylor Swift” and I have to take a deep breath and really focus before I just give away all my Taylor Swift opinions.

Taylor Swift is my pride and joy and the reason for living. I have a calendar of her in my cubicle. I have framed photos of her in my bedroom. I buy every magazine she’s on the cover of. I bought a damn snake ring because she was selling it. I truly believe I know her and I spend a lot of my time thinking about her relationships, her business decisions, and the meaning behind her lyrics.

So I don’t just have a few fleeting opinions on The Greatest Musician of All Time; I have well thought-out thoughts on The Great Human To Ever Live Behind Jesus.

I’m going to break down my thoughts and opinions and if you disagree with any of them, remember: you are wrong and I am right because I know her the best. Thank you.

Look What You Made Me Do
Truly the song of her career and to anyone who says it’s her worst song, remember that Welcome To New York is a song that she not only wrote, she recorded it and then thought enough of it to put it on an album. THAT is truly her worst song.

I think the song is about everyone. Obviously “tilted stage” is a nod toward Kanye and I used to think the “perfect crime” line was toward Kim K but now I think it could be about the radio DJ who grabbed her ass. That’s the thing about Taylor Swift. She has us thinking and talking and watching the video. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.

The Kim/Kanye Snapchat Gate of 2016
I do think she was caught lying and it’s sad and I still love Kim K and I still love Taylor Swift and honestly, it’s all just really hard, leave me alone.

…Ready For It?
Is she rapping? Is she just singing fast? Is “Burton to my Taylor” cheesy? I do not know and I do not care. It’s a fine song and no, I don’t think the rest of the album will be rap. I will say that the more I listen to the song in the shower and learn the lyrics and think about it, I think it’s about her current boyfriend, Joe, WHO ONLY HAS 8K FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER. “Younger than my exes and he act like such a man so” to me sounds like a dig at Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston. And like we should be done singing about Harry Styles IMO.

Plastic surgery
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. TAYLOR SWIFT OBVIOUSLY GOT A BOOB AND BUTT JOB AND YET WE ARE ALL JUST RADIO SILENT ABOUT IT. She looks great but if you don’t notice a difference when she’s wearing latex in the Bad Blood music video and the LWYMMD music video, then you need glasses. That’s all.

Her releasing a song during a college football game
Did she do it kind of suddenly? Sure. Do I think it might have been because she got mixed reviews for LWYMMD? Sure. Am I jealous it wasn’t during a Texas Tech game? Sure.

On who she voted for
She did not vote for Trump and anyone who thinks that is insane. I know people are mad at her for not voicing her political opinions but does she truly have a responsibility to do so? SHE WENT TO TRIAL BC A MAN GRABBED HER ASS, SHE DID NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP.

In 2012, she appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman and said THEN that it’s not her right to tell people who to vote for or who she would vote for. Say anything about her you want, but she’s sticking to her word.

On just donating money and not “taking anything to Capitol Hill”
Is Demi Lovato serious? Is she someone to be taken seriously? Has Demi Lovato been to Capitol Hill?

Her squad
Yes, she has girlfriends. Yes, most of them are models except Lena Dunham. Is that a crime? No. Is she using feminism when it’s convenient for her? What does that even mean? As if she’s not a feminist otherwise? Feminists can’t be mad at other women? She’s not allowed to hate Katy Perry for something? Feminists must love all other females all the time no matter what? That seems unlikely.

Katy Perry
I’m sorry but Taylor Swift releasing all of her music to Spotify on the day of KP’s album release is the most savage thing in the world and I. Am. Living. For. It. And yes, she does hate Katy Perry. I also hate Katy Perry. I hate a lot of women. Not because I’m sexist but because those women are assholes. Taylor Swift also hates a lot of men, so what does that mean? That she’s a bitch? Possibly.

On her playing the victim
Yes, but can you imagine if she acted like Beyonce how mad everyone would be? OH LOOK AT THAT ENTITLED BITCH. Maybe she is playing the victim. Maybe she feels like a victim. Maybe her life isn’t as perfect as it seems. Idk.

Is she more of a businesswoman or an artist?
I think about this one the most, tbh and I believe the answer is businesswoman. Everything she does leads back to her business. When she does and does not have a boyfriend is all about her brand. What kind of songs she writes and the sound of them is about her business. What she wears is about that. What she tweets is about that. I think she is v v talented but I think a lot of people are v v talented. I don’t think a lot of people have her business sense. Taylor Swift is a businesswoman first, an artist second.

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