Don’t Mess With Texas

Don’t smack in front of Texas.

Don’t ask Texas if she’s on her period.

Don’t tell Texas she looks tired. Texas just isn’t wearing any makeup.

Don’t interrupt Texas.

Don’t start celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving. Texas hates that.

Don’t linger at the bottom of the escalator in front of Texas.

Don’t feed Texas’ dog human food.

Don’t correct Texas’ grammar.

Don’t eat chocolate in front of Texas. Texas is on a diet right now and she really just needs to lose 10 pounds, OK?

Don’t say “no offense” and then offend Texas.

Don’t misspell Texas’ name.

Don’t reply-all to an email if it doesn’t apply to Texas.

Don’t make out with your boyfriend in front of Texas. She is single and lonely.

Don’t say “moist” around Texas.

Don’t tell Texas age is just a number.

Don’t call Texas a girl. She is 172 years old.

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