I Spent 17 Minutes Researching Chris Pratt’s Fiancé And This Is All I Know

courtesy usa today, don’t sue me

  • She’s an author?
  • She interned at Dove
  • She had body image issues
  • She worked for TJ Maxx, going around the country interviewing women?
  • She is well spoken
  • She learned to spell her last name in sixth grade
  • Wait
  • This is a weird interview?
  • I’m uncomfortable?
  • At first, I thought he was genuine, like he couldn’t put into words what he thought of her.
  • But then, he kept taking up time talking about how there wasn’t enough time.
  • And he said he would need to sit down and really talk about what she means to her?
  • Just say you love her and she’s awesome?
  • Like literally just say she fits my needs: She loves Jesus, she’s pretty and she laughs at my jokes.
  • This was weird?
  • Is anyone else watching this?
  • Then when asked about wedding plans, he dashes away.
  • Like he runs away.
  • OK, sorry, we didn’t want to talk about LEGOs for an hour?
  • Just say you don’t have any wedding plans yet, but you know it will be special.
  • I’m distraught?

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